I have loved this quote from the very first time I heard it on a PBS special about Robert Kennedy. Every year I understand it in a different way, it is real, terrible, beautiful and true.
He who learns must suffer
And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget
Falls drop by drop upon the heart,
And in our own despite, against our will,
Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.
The toughest thing is to love somebody who has done something mean to you — especially when that somebody is yourself. Look inside yourself and find that loving part of you. Take good care of that part because it helps you love your neighbor.-Fred Rogers
Arnold and I got married on June 12th, 2002. June 12th was a Wednesday. It was a day like any other day. We picked it because we were broke-broke and University Covenant Church in Davis, CA was kind enough to let us get married for free if we did it on a Wednesday morning. That is to say there was no great science in picking this day but recently I found out something wonderful: June 12th is Loving Day. Loving day celebrates the day that Richard Loving won his court case against the state of Virginia and put and end to the last anti-miscegenation law in the U.S.
Some of you might not know what anti-miscegenation laws are and I’m glad that those laws are so far gone that people don’t even know what they refer to. Anti-miscegenation laws prohibited interracial marriage. Richard Loving was white, his wife was black. One of the primary “reasons” for anti-miscegenation laws was the objective of preventing “crazy-monkey” interracial children, you know like me.
This was in 1967, only 12 years before I was born.
I’m pretty grateful to Richard Loving and his wife who pounded the last nail into the coffin of anti-miscegenation and to Andrea Perez who set the precedent in Perez v. Sharp which ended anti-miscegenation in California. Because those people were brave enough to stand up for their rights my parents were able to get married 10 years later in 1977 and produce their “half-race monkey baby” aka me.
22 years later I was able to marry Arnold blissfully unaware that Loving Day even existed.
Read a great article about Loving Day here.
Learn more about the Loving Day celebration here.