Tag Archives: Carmen

Going green

Don't be fooled, he's wearing green and he hits!

Yesterday was Carmen’s first St. Patrick’s Day. In the morning I dutifully dressed Elian in ribbit-green diaper and reminded Arnold that if he didn’t wear green he’d be really asking for trouble at school. Then I passed by Carmen’s room to explain about St. Patrick’s.

Me: Today is St. Patrick’s Day. We have to wear green. Look at Elian’s green! (insert enthusiasm here)

Carmen: Oh, okay. (She says this to almost everything)

Me: Yeah, if you don’t wear green then people can pinch you.

Carmen: Oh Okay (Insert, yeah-right-crazy-lady laugh)

Me: No seriously. It’s a tradition.

Carmen: Mhhmmm (this was done in the “my daughter-in-law the silly gringa” tone)

Me: Yeah and if someone pinches you and you’re secretly wearing green than you get to hit them! (I’m really selling this notion which I realize is really ludicrous/unimportant but I feel it is my duty to enthusiastically teach her about American cultural traditions)

Carmen: Okay, if you say so.

Of course she didn’t change into green. But then I haven’t been able to get her to eat brown rice either. Le sigh. I guess control freaks can’t win ‘em all!

In semi-related news my friend Tyler posted a beautiful prayer by St. Patrick on his blog. Ck it out here.

First Day of School

Last night I took my mother-in-law to her first day of school. Well not ever of course, but her first day of school in oh about 3 decades or so. Since coming here Carmen hasn’t gone anywhere by herself because she is terrified of having to try to speak English with someone. She’s embarrassed that people will think her lack of English rude. I’ve told her ad naseum that ESL is kind of just par for the course here in California but manners are very important to her. She is a lady after all.

So we were both pretty excited for her first day of night school.

Except… when we got there and it was time for me to leave while she studied I started panicking. I’ve never left her alone anywhere, let alone in a room full of strangers. Mostly non-English speaking strangers like her but still A ROOM FULL OF STRANGERS. Strangers that had started in the class together 5 weeks earlier than her!

I’m not sure what danger I thought would befall her at ESL school but it nearly broke my heart to leave her there all alone at school, so sweet with her red sweater, ponytail and newly purchased green notebook. As I left her expression was one of resolute bravery. Her face said “I’m scared but I’m going to do this.”

I almost cried in the hallway. Every morning I cheerfully say goodbye to my hysterical tear-streaked toddler without a second thought but Carmen’s stoicism broke my heart of stone.

I needn’t have bothered with the drama though. When I came back 2.5 hours later I peeked through the door crack and saw her laughing with her classmates like a 16-year-old girl. Turns out she made friends with a nice 20-year-old Mexican man who was sitting next to her. She was beaming with pleasure as she packed up her notebook and pencils. ”I did so good!” she told me. ”That nice young man helped me!”

I agreed that a handsome young classmate does make English class much more enjoyable. ”And” she continued proudly “The things Arnold taught me were some of the things we learned today!” ”Oh?” I said wondering when she had found the time to employ useful phrases like “My name is Queen Carmen.”, “Hell no” and “Are you kidding me?” “Yes” she said “I told the whole class. ’Nice to meet you. My name is Carmen and I am from Colombia.’” As she relived this triumphant moment with such euphoria my heart swelled with joy so much that I thought it would burst.

Heck yeah you are Carmen from Colombia and you are one kick-ass Grandma/English Student!!!

Watch out here she comes! First Day of School Pics!

Packing and Family Pics

Today I dispense my “wisdom” about what we packed for Colombia and loved and what we wished we would’ve brought over at Melinda’s Blog. Sadly none of the companies whose products I love gave them to me for free. One day people! One day I’ll have a job like Eileen’s awesome Clinique gig. Wilipina power!

I also have one last rambly story from Lebrija…

Last week I realized that it could be many years before we return to Santander. Our financial responsibilities now cover Elian and Carmen and buying 4 tickets back to Colombia just might not be in the cards for awhile. Keeping all this in mind I decided that we should seize the day and take a family picture all together. I also decided that Carmen and I should go to the salon because I needed a BREAK like yesterday! So off we went!

If this sounds like an outing, just keep in mind that Lebrija is tiny, so the salon was like 2 blocks away and consisted of one lady and some stray kids who were hanging around. Not exactly spa-like but you can’t beat the price. It cost me $2 to have the lady straighten my hair for 30 minutes. The flatiron was so hot I thought she was going to burn my face off but I swear when she was done I looked into the mirror and thought “Freaking A, this is why movie stars hair always looks amazing. Professional-grade flatirons” Courtney Cox, I’m a coming for ya!

Anyways my own personal hair revelations aside the best part was Carmen’s hair. I should point out that my mother-in-law is no stuck in the 70s, never stopped parting her hair in the middle slouch. LIke so many Colombian women she keeps up with fashion and isn’t afraid to go bold but I’m sad to say that we had to have a little hair intervention. First the stylist talked her into using the flatiron and holy crap her hair looked amazing! She has beautiful thick, and I mean Shakira-thick hair. But then we had a little back-sliding when she asked the stylist to give her 90s style chicken bangs. When I saw what was going on I had an ethical deciison to make… Should I say something?

I had to think fast, picture day was that night and these bangs were CRAZY! They were about to be immortalized.

So, I said… “You know, that looks nice but maybe some side bangs might be more modern” I said it like I was a Project Runway judge. ”You know, it’s not very modernnnnnnn” The seven year old next to me turned around and looked at me with wide-eyes that said “Thank God you said something!” She was all Michael Kors to my Nina Garcia.

All across the salon, the little kids and tweens hanging around nodded in acquisence while I held my breath wondering if I’d hurt her feelings. ”Why can’t I just shut up?” I asked myself? You’ve gotten too bold with the triumph of getting your own Mom to wear some bootcut jeans.

“Whatever my daughter-in-law says goes! Emily knows best.” Carmen declared!

Wh-what? Sometimes I just love her so much! I couldn’t believe it.

I breathed a sigh of relief and then thought to myself, “Geez, if only everybody else in my life could get on board with this way of thinking!!! ” You hear that Elian?

After the bang intervention was finished the little girl next to me nodded her approval and told Carmen “It looks much better that way.” And I thought to myself… well my work is done.

Here’s our family pics. We took them at a place called”Foto Shock!” and mercifully everybody in the family agreed that we could keep the weird tweety-bird background and excessive subtitles that are so popular here off the pictures. I don’t need a picture that says “My family is great” in cursive across the front. One hopes that message is implicit.

I think we are pretty-damn cute together! Don’t forget to check out Carmen’s new modernnnnnn hairstyle!

Please ignore the horrid backdrop, for some reason the photographer thought it was better to shoot us against this tapestry and photoshop it out later. I disagreed but it was hot and I was too tired to deal with the whole situation. The finished pictures look pretty good though. These are just the un-photoshopped proofs.

The tree and her three apples.

I do not know how the photographer got Elian to sit still, she obviously has magic powers.

To infinity and BEYOND!

On New Year’s Eve we bought last minute tickets to Bucaramanga so we’re taking Elian on his first flight today. I am praying that it won’t be horrible seeing as we have a 12 hour flight in our not-so-distant future. The good news is that our flight is only 1/2 hour long and that waiting for us on the other side will be Abuelita Carmen y los Tios Richard and Octavio. I can’t wait to see Abuelita Carmen’s superhero powers in action.

I am looking forward to meeting my nephew David for the first time and a joyous reunion with my friend the Lebrija Hotdog. I will also probably enjoy spending 1 week and a half or so lolling around watching NatGeo. I’m not sure what the internet will be like while we’re there but hopefully we’ll have adventures to report soon.

Abuela Carmen's Anesthesia

I think I’ve mentioned before that my mother-in-law Carmen will be coming back with us from Colombia to care for Elian when I have to return to work full time. I think I might have also talked about how we let her pick Elian’s middle name because we greatly appreciate this act of love because she is extremely afraid to come to the US. Abuela Carmen is terrified of planes. She is to planes as Indiana Jones is to snakes. It has always been my hope though that my children would be able to have a close relationship with their grandparents the way I was able to spend everyday with my grandmother. But I have a feeling that Abuela Carmen and Elian might end up having more than just a close relationship because I am now convinced that Abuela Carmen has superpowers.

A bit of background: Elian is a hyper-active kid, I mean even for a toddler he seems a little bit on the Richard Simmons side. He is a ton of fun every day, but he is not the type to quietly play with his blocks in the corner. He is the type to open and close the door while shrieking at full strength for 2 hours or so. He can also spend hours throwing cell phones or screaming because we won’t give one to him.

Abuela Carmen has not yet met Elian yet because she lives in another state. She’ll probably be coming in a few weeks to Bogota to get her visa etc. but she is VERY anxious to meet Elian so she calls everyday. Tonight we decided to make the extremely dubious choice of letting her talk to him on the phone. I was pretty sure that he would try to throw the phone across the room and then scream when we wouldn’t give it to him. If we were extra lucky we’d get a full blown-parents start-counting-to-100-must-stay-calm style temper tantrum.

Instead something unimaginable happened. The second he heard her voice he was lulled into a state that was equal parts comatose and tender. He smiled sweetly, placed his hand gently on the phone and snuggled into Arnold’s chest for a long chat with abuelita. For the next 10 minutes or so he laid on Arnold’s chest babbling softly to her and when they were done chatting he turned to Arnold’s face and I held my breath as I saw my son kiss his Dad’s cheek for the first time.

First conversation with Abuela Carmen

Embrace The Chaos

I tend to overcomplicate my life. Exhibit A: My idea to get a Master’s Degree for “fun. ” Exhibit B: Spending most of my 20s working three jobs. So I thought, hey adopting a child won’t be a big enough change, I should really file paperwork for my Mother-In-Law to immigrate here. She can help us care for Triceratops, we can help her sew stuff for us! Win-win!

Carmen on her first flight. Practice for the big trip to the US!

Oh yeah, didn’t I mention this? My mother-in-law Carmen is gonna live with us, in our MANSION! Oh, I mean in our “cozy” house. Double the immigration paperwork, double the fun! Like Jason said “Wow, Em, sometimes your life really does seem like a reality show.”

I wish! If we were a reality show, I’d be getting paid! Maybe I should start pitching titles like… uh, well I can’t think of anything. Ideas?