So we were both pretty excited for her first day of night school.

Except… when we got there and it was time for me to leave while she studied I started panicking.  I’ve never left her alone anywhere, let alone in a room full of strangers.  Mostly non-English speaking strangers like her but still A ROOM FULL OF STRANGERS.  Strangers that had started in the class together 5 weeks earlier than her!

I’m not sure what danger I thought would befall her at ESL school but it nearly broke my heart to leave her there all alone at school, so sweet with her red sweater, ponytail and newly purchased green notebook.  As I left her expression was one of resolute bravery.  Her face said “I’m scared but I’m going to do this.”

I almost cried in the hallway.  Every morning I cheerfully say goodbye to my hysterical tear-streaked toddler without a second thought but Carmen’s stoicism broke my heart of stone.

I needn’t have bothered with the drama though.  When I came back 2.5 hours later I peeked through the door crack and saw her laughing with her classmates like a 16-year-old girl.  Turns out she made friends with a nice 20-year-old Mexican man who was sitting next to her.  She was beaming with pleasure as she packed up her notebook and pencils.  ”I did so good!” she told me.  ”That nice young man helped me!”

I agreed that a handsome young classmate does make English class much more enjoyable.  ”And” she continued proudly “The things Arnold taught me were some of the things we learned today!”  ”Oh?” I said wondering when she had found the time to employ useful phrases like “My name is Queen Carmen.”, “Hell no” and “Are you kidding me?” “Yes” she said “I told the whole class.  ’Nice to meet you.  My name is Carmen and I am from Colombia.’”  As she relived this triumphant moment with such euphoria my heart swelled with joy so much that I thought it would burst.

Heck yeah you are Carmen from Colombia and you are one kick-ass Grandma/English Student!!!

Watch out here she comes! First Day of School Pics!

“Take more risks” is on my Forty by Forty list so even though I didn’t get the job I feel like it’s still an accomplishment.  A little step to waking up the dreamer I have somewhere sleeping inside me.

She wrote on my list!  Stars are fine, but writing… uh that wasn’t on the schedule Mom!

Anyways, all of this is to say that I’ve always found lists, schedules and spreadsheets soothing.  A sort of comfort in a chaotic world.  Plus like Monica Gellar would say “It’s just plain fun!”

So I’ve made a new list. THE list.  You can find it by tabbing to the top.  It’s called Forty by Forty.  A list of things I’d like to do before I turn forty.  I’ve got to tell you that the decade between 20 and 30 was an amazing ride.  I hope to make this decade equally wonderful.

I can’t tell you how happy this list makes me: but then again maybe I don’t have to, my little story about my 9 year old schedule pretty much says it all, right?

via La Dolce Vita

PS I added pictures to the Casa Perez Residents Page. Now you can see my loony family in full color personal-style ad glory.

And to continue our feel good birthday theme let’s talk about CNN’s Heroes series.  Sweet, right?  A welcome respite from the normal news of death and despair.  This one however caught my eye more than usual.  How could I resist this story? I mean a donkey named “Alfabeto”? That in itself is priceless. Via CNN

I love you but we need to go on a break.

So I’m drawing some healthy boundaries with you my friend.  You can come to the refrigerator once a month in a small-sized jar.  I can only handle you when you are organic and trans fat free.  Other than that you are exiled until we can establish a more functional relationship.

I’ll miss you and the good times we used to have.  See you  on April 1st.

It’s our little mother-son project and I have to say it’s going pretty well!  (Note that I said well, not perfect.)

Goofing off on Ash Wednesday

Elian is much calmer overall and I’m on the road to redemption as well.  We have a long ways to go but I’m thankful that things are getting better.  A lot of this is due to my awesome Arnold my Number One cheerleader who says “Go now and take a break” when things are getting too intense. It is a blessing to have a husband like mine.   I know many of you are tackling challenges, Lenten or otherwise.  How are yours going?