In the Catholic church there is a liturgical calendar. Important religious holidays like Easter and Christmas are preceded by special times of spiritual preparation like lent, advent etc. These periods are relatively short compared to the rest of the year which is made up of something called Ordinary Time.

I like the sound of it, Ordinary Time. Something about it rolls and relaxes and soothes me.

For a long time I felt caught up in a multitude of “special” events. There was the adoption, the adjustment to parenthood, changing jobs, etc. Now, finally I feel like we’ve returned to Ordinary Time.

Recently we attended a preparation class for Elian’s baptism. It turned out to be quite literally a Come to Jesus moment for me. The nun teaching the class was running it like some sort of bad-ass baptism boot camp.  She was not messing around with bland platitudes about grace and mercy and cleansing waters. No, no, no, she wanted to make sure we got that baptism is not a one time party but a lifetime commitment “You must remember that we are beloved children of God and as parents you are the first and most important people to teach your child what it means to be unconditionally loved.”

I felt those words cut to my heart.

It is so important to take the time to go beyond the basics of caring for my son. I am diligent in emphasizing manners and practicalities: to wash his hands and not to throw things, but I am severely lacking in other things that are more important. I remember to scold but not to tell him how proud I am of his kind and generous little heart. I remember to feed him healthy food, but I forget to bless him, pray for him and remind him that nothing will ever separate him from our love or God’s. I am impatient with his rambunctiousness but slow to appreciate his bright smile. Yes, I am tired and exhausted and imperfect but life is not about excuses, it’s about looking for solutions. I’m praying that God will help me do better.

The day after the class Elian’s school was closed and I decided to trash my plans of getting chores done and instead dedicate the day to working on teaching love: namely listening to him, being patient, and lavishing the attention that he constantly craves but doesn’t always receive.

It was a total blast.

We watched Sesame Street, we ate yogurt, we went to Starbucks and discussed the merits of each car that passed through the drive through. Instead of mumbling uh-huh to his nonstop chatter I made the effort to focus in. We talked and giggled and hugged. It was ordinary time and it was extraordinarily beautiful.

This week we are dealing with real-life scary stuff: buying a new car, trying to finish up my cookbook project and of course, managing our normal everyday life.  At least I have my own personal mini-fireman to help me out. I hope Halloween is a sweet not scary respite from the crazy!

Did I mention that the Backstreet Boys also performed at the concert?

Get ready boys! We're about to have a dance-off.

Not being a Backstreet fan I wasn’t really sure how I felt about this addition. I do know a shocking amount of lyrics due to their insane popularity while I was studying abroad in Chile but if you asked me which was my favorite, I’d say “Uhm? How many are there?”

For shame. I should go to Boy-Band fan prison for this offense.

I was however really looking forward to one part of their performance though and that was hearing “Everybody (Backstreets Back)”. I love it when Boy Bands come out with the requisite “We don’t care about the haters” anthem (see “Games” and “Celebrity” for additional examples) and Backstreet’s was a particular favorite. With a super-loud bass line and fresh lyrics like “Am I original? Yeah Yeah. Am I the only one? Yeah Yeah.” it was a can’t miss pop-moment. My favorite part is when Nick Carter (researched their names in preparation for the concert) asks us (I assume rhetorically) “Am I sex-u-al?” in his dirty-boy voice. In the video he sings it while dancing as a Mummy! (3:30)

Here it is for your reference. Please enjoy the Phantom of the Opera makeup. I did.

Since the first moment I heard that song in Santiago, Chile I thought the line was hysterically awesome and when I realized I would be hearing it live I was psyched. I talked about it non-stop on the way to San Jose. “I can’t wait to hear this live, it’s going to be awesome” I babbled on and on! “I’m sure he’s going to do a sexy-dance while he sings it!” (cue me demonstrating body-rolls for my fellow-concert-goers).  I could NOT wait! So great was my enthusiasm that by the time the big moment came several people had cameras pointed at me to record my sexy-dance off with Nick Carter. “C’mon” I yelled at the stage “Show me what you got boy!”

I wish I could tell you I look awesome in those pics, but apparently my sexy-dance is not that hot when recorded by stop-motion photography.

Nick however did not fail me though. He was a drama KING. He dramatically ripped the top of a plastic water bottle and threw it all over himself before doing a body-wave/hip-roll combo that my friend Deana described as “circling his Johnnie.” It really made my life. I wish you were all there to savor the moment.

Shortly after that moment I realized that my feelings of bewildered besument is probably what the rest of my world experiences when I babble about the New Kids on the Block.” Is that what other people think about me?” I mused while I observed 20-somethings all around me faint watching Nick “circle his Johnnie”.

I felt like I was on the verge of a major existential discovery, but then I got distracted because the New Kids were back and I was too busy swooning while Donnie Wahlberg ripped off his shirt.

Usually I consider my day job and blog to be like church and state: it’s best for there to be no overlap. Today I’m making an exception. Recently we finished a mega-project that’s been almost a year in the making and I’m really proud of what we accomplished. Even better? Renee ended up being featured in full-page kick-ass glory.

Rock on rockstar.

Originally I was going to be the picture of restraint with these New Kids posts.”Don’t bore everybody Em, not everyone is obsessed like you” I told myself but as you’ll soon see I have no restraint.

My deepest apologies.

I think you’ll forgive my fan-girling though because there is another back story to that concert that I wanted to share and I think you’ll all agree that it’s far more important than a childhood dream come true.

We went to the New Kids concert at the beginning of July but we bought our tickets last year. At that time Renee, my friend and one of my best NKOTB-partners-in-crime had been recently diagnosed with lymphoma. It was a scary time. It wasn’t clear what her diagnosis meant. What stage was her cancer? What would it mean for her quality of life? The length of her life? It was a time when I  kept all your questions on the inside because it was really scary to talk about them out loud.  News would come back and it wasn’t good; lymphoma in the marrow, chemo and more chemo.

Things didn’t seem hopeful and I desperately wanted to imagine a hopeful future for Renee. I wanted something for her to look forward to, so when Lisa put out the call for concert tix, I told her “I’m in, get me two tix, one for me and one for Renee”.

If you knew how infamously tight-fisted I am and how expensive concert tix are you would know how desperate I was. I called Renee with the news all fake-cheerful “I think you’ll be done with chemo by then and we’ll go and have SO MUCH FUN!” Ever-positive I could hear her grinning through the phone “Of course we will! I don’t care if I have to go straight from chemo on July 2nd, we’re going to rock it.” In my head I prayed silently “Please God, let her be well by then.” Out loud I said “Of course we will!”

Obviously though, all the magical thinking and concert tix in the world do not make cancer go away. You know what does? Months and months of enduring chemotherapy. Renee finished her last round in June and as I was editing this post I found out that she is now officially in remission.

So now you know that the concert was about so much more than childhood dreams deferred, die-hard fandom or even simple escapism. For me it was about celebrating my friends’ triumph in a first-round well fought. Last fall I honestly didn’t know if we would be able to go to this concert together. I bought those tickets as an act of defiance in the face of an uncertain future.

You can only imagine my joy to be there with her when Joey Mac was hitting the stage crooning “Please don’t girl”. Normally I love to tease Renee, I like to wait until she is totally blissed out and then roll my eyes dramatically while simultaneously poking her in the ribs ( I mean before joining in myself, of course!) But this time when I looked at Renee’s enraptured face lit up with unfettered devotion for her childhood love I felt totally overcome with gratitude for every moment I’ve gotten to spend with that goofball. So I skipped the teasing just that one time. I closed my eyes, looped my arm through hers and hugged her tight because I am so incredibly thankful that she is still here.