You matter

If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.-Fred Rogers

 

One summer I worked as part of the cleaning crew at a Conference Center. In addition to myself the crew included my friend Rachel, an ex-convict and a young man with mental disabilities. Obviously Rachel and I were thought of quite highly. Despite the boys out-of-the-mainstream pedigree we had fun as a group. The ex-con taught us self-defense using magic markers in place of pocket knives and in our down time we spent the day quoting Beavis and Butthead and listening to 80s mixtapes. Ocasionally if it was super slow, we’d lock a hotel room door, crank up Welcome to the Jungle and jump on the beds.

The work however sucked. Even though I was 19 and energetic, cleaning thirty hotel rooms a day is no joke. The first bed you make is easy; but by the time you’re on the thirtieth your back aches. Wet towels are gross and heavy and people are quite frankly, disgusting. Twelve years later I still have an irrational aversion to making beds.

I’m glad though that I had that job because it taught me that there are so many service jobs that are much harder than they look. I learned to think about the line cook on his feet all day and the hotel maid whose back aches from bending over and cleaning for hours on end.

When I was cleaning hotel rooms ocasionaly people would leave us meager tips of dollar or fifty cents. We would collect these and once a week we’d buy smoothies. Smoothie day was a good day. The smoothies gave us enough to energy to jump on the beds for Welcome to the Jungle and to jam to Footloose.  It wasn’t just the smoothie though, it was what they represented, that there were some people who bothered to recognize the hard work we did.

When I was in Baltimore a few weeks ago I was almost delirious from a sinus infection. Sickness always makes me both emotionally volatile and sentimental and when I walked into my hotel room to find it pristinely clean after a long work day with a splitting headache I was overcome. I walked straight back out of my room found the maid next door and blurted out somewhat bizzarely “Thank you so much for cleaning my room. You did such a good job and I really appreciate it.”

I wish you could have seen her smile.

My point? The things you do matter. The small kindnesses you take the time to express can make a difference. Smoothie day would brighten our spirits after cleaning yet another disgusting bathroom and I like to think that my thank you put a little spring in the hotel maids step. So please, don’t ever think what you do doesn’t matter. You have so much power to make the world a better place, one small courtesy at a time.

 

Five for Friday Pt. 49-LA Edition

Last week I went to LA for work. I met lots of great people at my site visits and got to hang out with some Torrie and Kat too! I also ate approximately 5 million meals. All of them were delicious. Today’s Five for Friday is the LA Food edition.

Put on your fat pants, your gonna gain weight just reading this post.

1. 1886 in Pasadena-I was so enamored with my drink and the company that I totally forgot to take a picture, but take my word for it, this bar is top notch. The drinks are creative without burying the licor in sugar or cream. It also has an amazing door that opens and closes with pulley weights giving it a fun speakeasy feel.

2. A/K/A in Pasadena-We had (among other things) portabello fries with truffle aioli. As they were delivered to the table my foodie in crime Katrina said “The aioli is so good, I want to drink it!” She made a drinking motion with her hand, just in case I didn’t get it.

I wanted to drink the aioli too. I’ll leave you to wonder whether I did, or not.

Portabello Fries with Truffle Aioli

3. Square One Dining-I saw this on OhJoy!’s blog and thought, “I must eat there.” Then I did. It was delicious and changed my life. The end.

French Toast with Bourbon Pecans and Vanilla Whipcream

Salmon Benedict: It comes nestled not on a muffin, but a crispy nest of deep fried hash browns giving it an unexpected layer of crispy. Genius.

4. Mozza Pizzeria-So fresh and so clean. This was reccommended by Torrie. My favorite pizza was a gorgonzola dolce that had rosemary and fingerling potatos. I never tasted the sweetness in gorgonzola dolce until I had this pizza, it was addictive. I wanted to shove my face in the whole thing but it didn’t seem polite so I held back, sort of.

Gorgonzola Dolce with Fingerling Potatos and Rosemary

Pizza Margherita

Squash Blossoms and Burrata

5. You tell me! Where do you like to eat in LA? What do I HAVE to eat next time I there? I mean in addition to the places that I already ate…

Taxi Cab Chronicles: Antoine’s Fragrances

My time with Antoine didn’t seem too promising in the first few minutes. He seemed to be of the polite yet detached variety drivers.  A tall, handsome, middle-aged black man in a well-pressed suit he was a Baltimore native and a town car driver, in short a super-professional: the sort that answer your questions without encouraging further chat.

Usually it’s my goal to have a driver become my best friend during the 15-minute drive to the airport but after having battled a wicked and plague of a cold for the past few days I wasn’t really up to the task of employing my usual taxi-driver/friend-hostage tactics. I figured Antoine and I would have to settle for a normal client/driver relationship. I settled into my seat and prayed that he would take a break from texting to pay attention to driving me safely.

Then unexpectedly Antoine took ME hostage! “Why are people always trying to sell me fragrances?” he asked me apropos of nothing. “I have so many fragrances. More than 100 and people just keep trying to sell them to me like I don’t already own them!”

I mean, obviously that’s what he said. Who wouldn’t start a conversation like that?

I never did ask Antoine about who these neanderthals were who kept insisting he buy fragrances, but wow, did I learn a lot about Antoine’s love for them including how many he owned (more than 100), why he was so into them (an old girlfriend felt insisted on a strict shower than fragrance schedule) and what his favorites were “Christian Dior and Creed”.

The conversation was very weird, I mean, I kept wanting to say, “Why the heck do you keep saying fragrances instead of cologne?” but instead I fed the fire, nodding appropriately and saying, “Wow, it sounds like you really love fragrances” at the appropriate moments in the conversation.

Then alarmingly he thrust his cell phone at me! “See I don’t need more fragrances.”

People, Antoine had what appeared to be a three level bar cart full of cologne bottles. And he had taken a picture of it to show people. “Antoine you weren’t kidding!” I exclaimed.

“I know” he said, equally enthusiastic. “I have a lot of fragrances.”

I can’t tell you how it cheers me to know that there are so many wonderful weirdos in the world, and even better that some of that have at their disposal 100 fragrances to fill your world.

All the Right Moves in All the Right Places

About a week ago my Aunt called to ask me if I had plans for my first night in Denver. And if not, would I like to go to a Fundraiser at the Four Seasons? And oh by the way, it required cocktail attire.

Uh, a party and a chance to dress up. Count me in Tia Carolina.

Fresh off my love-fest with Ahmad, my very favorite Sudanese electrical engineer/taxi driver I started getting ready for the party. Then suddenly I got overwhelmed by the simple task of getting dressed. I like looking at fashion but I am not efficient at dressing myself appropriately. For reasons I cannot explain I started over-thinking the whole scenario. What should I wear? Was it appropriate? You’d think I was going to Buckingham Palace the way I was angsting.

I turned to google. Cocktail attire=short dress.

Okay. I can handle that. I settle on the dress I bought for my 30th birthday. It has draping so I can eat all I want and not have to suck in my tummy.

Strategy is important people. Always think about how you are going to look good AND eat.

This picture is unintentionally hilarious. First off I'm making a crazy face. Apparently pushing the camera button was stressful. Also you get to see the aftermath of my "what to wear" angst all over the floor. So much for cute self-potraits.

I’m heading down to the party which technically was the opening of the Four Seasons Denver and the woman on the elevator and I start talking. I like her hair. She likes my jacket. She mistakes me for a student. I pledge my eternal love to her for the unintentional compliment. We’re on our way to an Ahmad-like friendmance when we run into (almost literally) Aaron Neville in the lobby. “Oh my GOD” she says “That’s Aaron Neville” He replies “Hey sistah” Then she starts wigging out a bit  ”I wish I had my camera!” I’m kind of confused and slow but I finally spit out “I do, I have my camera!” so we run after him but we’re too late. Bummer.

I thought that was going to be my big blog story of the night, but it wasn’t. He has really broad shoulders FYI.

My Aaron Neville delay meant I had to run to the party in my heels. When I get there I’m sweaty, limpy and incoherent. I’m in babble overdrive “Hi Tia Carolina, I saw Aaron Neville, taxi cab drivers, blah, blah, blah” Luckily it’s really loud so no one hears what I’m talking about anyway. I meet my aunt and uncle’s friends and then I realize… that I’m in the kind of party you see on HBO shows.

There are acrobats hanging from the ceiling and all the women are wearing Herve Leger dresses. Waiters are walking around with lamb chops and truffle risottos. I’m told there was a room exclusively filled with candy. A woman walks by on stilts and there’s a red carpet. It was surreal. That’s when my Aunt’s friend says “There’s going to be a band. Have you heard of them? They ‘re called One Republic.”

Uh, what? Yeah, I’ve heard of them. In fact I hear them on the radio everyday for the last three years.

Are you jealous? Cause I’m jealous of last Saturday night Emily, she had FUN! So we eat, and have lamb chops and chocolate martinis and all matter of deliciousness (thank you DRAPING DRESS) and I’m in the front row of a One Republic mini-concert with a martini-glass full of mashed potatoes. #Truestory.

Incidentally, they rock. Go see them if you are a fan.

This picture is deceptive in terms of how many people were in front of me. This is the only concert I've ever attended where I zoomed out to take a pic.

After I locate my Aunt and Uncle (who unsurprisingly were not interested in a band they’ve never heard of) I sit down to chat with someone who I thought was another buddy of theirs. She was from Argentina originally and lives in DC. Perfect, I LOVE Argentina and DC. We talk about her kids (twin girls now grown), East Coast vs. West Coast, how kids adopted from Colombia are the cutest. She gives me some great parenting advice. I talk about how I love the Smithsonian and if I were a billionaire a free-public arts museum would be my legacy too. It’s Ahmad all over again. I could’ve talked to her forever. I had yet another moment of reminding myself that it’s weird to hug strangers you’ve just met.

Turned out though she wasn’t a friend of my Aunt and Uncle’s, she just happened to be sitting at their table. And she was at the party because her husband worked for the firm that financed the hotel. What? A Four Seasons hotel!  At that moment my Aunt’s friend comes over and says “I just ran into the head of Guiness beer”.

How did I end up at this party? I am a mid-level civil servant with a toddler. I usually don’t hang with financeers.

I should’ve known though, my Aunt and Uncle might not be interested in listening to rock bands but they have the energy level of rockstars. They always know the cool stuff to do.

Although it was outrageous-cool to see the band and the atmosphere was unreal, at a party it’s always about the people you meet. It’s about your Aunt’s friend with the infectious laugh and the sparkly red glasses and the Argentine woman who agrees that Colombian children are ridiculously cute.  It’s about showing off pictures of the little boy you’re missing back at home and arguing with your Uncle about whether you are almost as tall as him in your heels. In a taxi cab or at a Four Seasons, it is ALWAYS about the people you meet. Interesting people are everywhere and connecting with them gives me such joy.

It doesn’t hurt though, if you end up in an elevator with some rockstars. And I wouldn’t say no to a mashed potato bar either. I’m just sayin!

Music+Family+One Republic+Candy+Mashed Potatoes=One Happy and Blurry Wilipina

Sudanese engineers and Argentine financeers

So I’m in Denver right now for work. If you follow me on facebook or twitter you might know that I’ve been having so much fun it’s silly.

It all started of with my cab driver. Since I documented my love for them last week I felt almost obligated to accost my driver with friendship. Luckily downtown Denver is a good 1/2 hour form the airport so I had lots of time, because this one was a little… different. He was really starched and pressed and kind of formally quiet. In my experience drivers are usually kind of rumpled (sitting all day will do that to you) and loudly conversing in foreign languages via cell phone.

It seemed this driver was shy, but I don’t really see that as a barrier. So I started in with the questions.

Social tip from me: Questions are really the best way to get people talking. Just keep asking people something till they crack. 99% of people like to talk about themselves.

What’s your favorite Denver restaurant? Weather, blah, blah. He was polite but not talky. A little difficult this one.

That’s when I pulled out my secret weapon: Are you a Denver native?

Obviously I knew he wasn’t. Most drivers are immigrants and have the thick accents to prove it, but I feel like asking someone where they are from is rude, it insinuates they don’t speak good English. Many people with heavy accents speak perfect English so I don’t like to be unintentionally offensive. Anyways, this question was my golden ticket cause turns out my driver was…

A Sudanese electrical engineer who came to Colorado on a full scholarship to University of Colorado, Boulder.

I know! It explained a lot, he wasn’t a career driver but merely supporting himself after having been laid off. He of course instantly became my favorite person in the world becuase I love international students. I asked him about Sudan, about how he liked Boulder, about his plans for the future. He said he liked the friendly spirit of the American people but due to the economy (he’d been unemployed for a year, thus the taxi) he was going back to Sudan where he’d found a new job as an engineer. As we speak Ahmad is returning home to Sudan after 8 years in Colorado.

I kind of miss him a little bit already.

We talked forever, about reverse culture shock, learning second languages and how no matter how wonderful the place you go to is, your first home is always, well, home! We were laughing and chatting like old friends, it was awesome. I was really dissapointed when we got to my hotel. I wanted to get Ahmad’s info and hang out more, but I’m married and that’s both weird and inappropriate so I didn’t. I really wanted to hug him and say good luck and I wish you well and thanks for sharing about your life.

That’s kind of inappropriate too though so I settled for staring at him in a creepy way as I weighed hugging vs. the more apropos well-wishing. Isn’t it amazing though the beautiful stories behind the people you meet? Ahmad and I are really close in age but our lives have been radically different.  Yet still, our paths crossed and we had so much in common. Sometimes life really is beautiful.

Note: I got so carried away with Ahmad that I’ll have to leave Part 2 for tomorrow.

Weekend Update No. 5-Monterey Edition


We went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Beautiful.

This is the view from the cafeteria. Cookies taste better with an ocean view.

The underwater tanks are absolutely magical.

Kids were screaming "Look at Dory!" at this tank.

Watch out R. Pattz. You ain't got nothin on us!

We checked out my Uncle's Kayak Shop at the Coastguard Pier. AB Seas Kayak. Check it out here!

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